Pokin' Fun

By Doc Blakely

An ad in the Wall Street Journal said a meat market in New Orleans was buying froglegs and will "contract up to a million."

The recent rains caused a Cajun entrepreneur to lose

interest in ranching and speculate on the bullfrog market.

"This is it, Chere. Our chance to hit the big time. Since the rains have hit, the frog population has exploded. Listen to 'em out there; must be at least a million. If we can just get 'em before it dries up, at a dollar each, we're sitting on a gold mine or, better yet, a frog mine!"

"Do you know where you'll get warts if you sit on a frog mine, Boudreau?"

"It'll just make me ride taller in the saddle. I’ll bet Hopalong Cassidy got that name from frog hunting. That’s it, Chere — fame, fortune, then the movies."

"Yeah, I can see your stage name in lights now. ‘Bullfrog Boudreau’ starring in 'From Ferdinand to Frogs,' with a cast of thousands.

A call was made to New Orleans confirming the need for froglegs and Boudreau promptly got a jumpstart on his tongue, contracted for the whole million, put the icehouse on emergency standby, had a 747 on call, and hired so many school kids that pool halls failed for 40 miles around.

As darkness fell, the drenched swamps came alive with the sounds that had driven Bullfrog Boudreau to a frog frenzy. Six sections of lowlands were completely surrounded by kids wearing carbide headlights and wielding frog gigs as the circle tightened. Refrigerated trucks stood by the center of the circle with a butchering crew. All through the night the circle decreased until all hunters were a few yards apart. Then, just before dawn, one big-mouthed frog leaped from the grass and let out a million-dollar croak. Gigs filled the air like raindrops in a thunderstorm. They hit everything but the frog. Every truck had a flat tire and the sideboards looked like a porcupine with gland trouble. The casualty list was enormous, and Bullfrog Boudreau got a gig where he feared he would get warts.

One loudmouth frog leaped back to his temporary pond to teach those tadpoles a lesson. What sounds like a million may not be worth a dime and our dreams may get punctured in the end. Even so, we may still find reason to ride tall in the saddle. And keep our chins up ... all three of ‘em.