Choice gleanings from 45-plus years of Unregistered Bull.

"It's the time of year again," said John, "for everybody with any regard for tradition, if not for his own self-improvement, to make a batch of resolutions.

"This time, I'm not going to fool around like I've done in the past. Some years, I've made resolutions which didn't last 30 days — like resolving to quit getting mad when a pickup quits in the middle of a pasture; or resolving to be kind to dumb animals even when the animal is a tub-footed bronc that steps on your corn while you're trying to open a wire gap.

"Other years, I've made resolutions I knew dern well I could live up to. Like taking an oath I wouldn't let anybody bluff me out of a poker pot when I was holding four aces and a king. Or swearing to give up habits like kicking my banker on the shins; digging posts holes all day in the hot sun; giving the Bureau of Internal Revenue the benefit of a doubt in questions of income tax; and shutting both eyes when a bunch of young ladies come down the street on a windy day.

"Most years, I've made too many resolutions; I not only couldn't live up to 'em, I couldn't even remember 'em. But this year, I've decided to make just one and do my dead level best to keep it in mind for 12 months, just to see what happens. I've got it written down in black and white, like they do at all the stockmen's conventions, and it goes like unto this:

"WHEREAS, it has fallen my lot to be a keeper of the kine, a dealer in dogies, a prowling producer of pot roasts on the prod;

AND WHEREAS, no matter what I do, it appears that all I've got to show for the trials and tribulations of my toil is a bad case of stomach ulcers, a worn-out automobile, rheumatism in my left leg and a bad reputation at the bank;

AND WHEREAS, it's all my own fault because when I was a kid is was offered a choice of several attractive careers, including driving a bus in Arkansas and learning to operate a motion picture projector in Homosassa, Florida, but I persisted in thinking I was smart enough to trade in cattle better than my fellow man;

NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that as long as I'm afflicted with the idea that I can make money in the livestock business, I'd better make up my mind I don't know what's going to happen next; that from now on, when somebody offers me a profit I'm going to take it instead of trying to get rich; that I'm going to try to stay in shape where I can make my business liquid the minute the weather starts getting dry;

AND BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that I've finally learned there's no use in a character of my capabilities trying to outguess the market; and even if I did, I'd only be making extra money for the income tax man while making him suspicious at the same time;

AND BE IT FINALLY RESOLVED that I hope my banker approves of this resolution and sees fit to demonstrate his pleasure by advancing me sufficient you-know-what to purchase a certain string of yearling steers which, just as sure as they are incapable of participating in the improvement of their breed, will make more money than a man can drag off with a set of Percheron horses." —(S.F. 01/01/53)