I chickened out. While in Austin at the Texas State Historical Association meeting, I visited the Dell computer outlet. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see their bargains. They sell "refurbished" computers at bargain prices.

I went by on Thursday and Friday and picked out a 300 megahertz system (which would make me twice as fast as my wife). The salesman told me that if I would wait until Saturday I could buy a 19-inch monitor for $200 extra and get the complete system for $2000. Saturday, I chickened out because an ad for another company said to compare with Dell. When I did, I decided to look at buying a new computer closer to home.

Why am I even considering a new machine? I gave the IRS too much money last year and have some money coming back.

My other option is to have my current 75 MHz machine upgraded. I can get a new motherboard, more RAM and a bigger hard drive for about $600-700, but I am told I would have a big problem trying to load my old hard drive on the new one if I go to Windows95 to take advantage of the higher speed capability.

What to do? When I got home I called a vendor in Abilene who told me he couldn’t compete with Dell, but that Dell machines couldn’t be repaired because of the non-standard parts they used. Same problem with Compaq and others; he said Gateway was the only company that was using fairly standard parts.

I logged on the Internet and found that this week’s special on Gateway was a 300 MHz with a 17-inch monitor for a base price of $1999. I still can’t decide whether to go that way or not. I need to eat more beef so I won’t be so chicken.

I have more E-mail jokes to share. This is taken from a list of 50 top oxymorons, but due to space limitations, I will only share the top 10.

10. Tight slacks

9. Definite maybe

8. Pretty ugly

7. Twelve-ounce pound cake

6. Diet ice cream

5. Rap music

4. Working vacation

3. Exact estimate

2. Religious tolerance

1. Microsoft Works

The last is the funniest for us computer users.

E-mail address: crodenberg@aol.com