What I did find at the Ak-Sar-Ben pavilion in Omaha was a barn full of barbecue eaters, over 1000 of them, attending the annual chuckwagon round-up sponsored by the First National Bank of Omaha. The crowd was made up of ranchers, farmers, hard-working, intelligent people. Then, there were also some government representatives.

On the way to the pavilion, I asked the cab driver if he knew the place.

"Sure, everybody knows. It's a famous place."

Alongside the road, I saw signs everywhere, "Ak-Sar-Ben Service Station," "Ak-Sar-Ben Apartments," "Ak-Sar-Ben Massage Parlor."

"What does 'Ak-Sar-Ben' mean?" I asked.

"Beats me. I just drive a cab."

When I got there, the program was already in session. The first speaker on the program had already suggested that the government should stay out of the cattle business or quit making dumb suggestions like doubling the gestation (pregnancy to you city slickers) period to cut the cow herd down to half strength.

Everybody laughed. I turned to a stranger and asked, "What does Ak-Sar-Ben mean?"

"That's not Ak-Sar-Ben," came the reply. "I forgot his name. He's an editor. Ain't he a caution?"

During the noon barbecue, I asked a lady with a visitor's tag if she knew about Ak-Sar-Ben. She said, "No, but I'm a firm believer in Aloe Vera Juice."

After lunch I got to do my part on the program, then listened to another speaker, who said he was invited to speak because he was cheaper than General Colin Powell and smarter than Bill Clinton.

Dashing to catch a plane at the airport, I found I had a few minutes to kill in intellectual pursuit, so I asked a native of Omaha to explain about Ak-Sar-Ben. He said he had heard it all his life but never thought about it meaning anything.

Finally, a 10 year-old kid overheard our conversation and told me it was so simple, he was surprised we hadn't figured it out. "It's Nebraska spelled backwards."

I felt so dumb I got on a plane and went back to my home state of Saxet.

"I'll bet you don't even know what's green and goes 60 miles per hour," the kid taunted.

"I give up. What?" I replied.

"A frog in a blender."

I sure had a memorable time in Omaha, Ak-Sar-Ben.